I tried to prepare

I knew adopting older would be more challenging than adopting a toddler.  I tried to prepare myself by reading everything I could, imagining situations I might face and becoming a part of groups of parents who have adopted older.  I don't think you can ever fully prepare and every child is different so, one persons situation may not be anything like what another experiences.  I had heard that adoptive children who have been institutionalized revert to a younger stage and I was even told to prepare to be a mom of a toddler in a six year old body.  I didn't understand that.  I understand it now.  Kenley has never had a home so everything about your home that you don't think about daily or you take for granted, even those basic things,she has no idea how to use them or what they are for.  The simplest things are exciting, for example mom pouring sugar from the bag to the canister.  Using a fork has been challenging, we are working on table manners, and just manners in general.
Kenley is very independent I am sure she has done for herself all of her life.  It has been good for us the past two days to have some time alone while Tatum is at school and Barry is at work.  Although she has missed them and ask several times a day Tatum? Baba? as she shrugs her shoulders. (Baba is the name for Daddy in China.)  I have been able to pamper her a little, do the things a mom does for their child that I am guessing Kenley has never had done for her.  In China she allowed me to help her but I felt she wasn't exactly comfortable with it.  Today I rubbed some smelly lotion on her little arms and legs and she just smiled and shook her head as she smelled the sweet smell.  She enjoyed the blow drying of her hair today and smiled at the reflection and nodded approval at how it was styled. I can only imagine how different her life is- living in a dorm style room with 23 other girls, many severly handicapped or with illnesses such as heart defect and cancer sharing a community bathroom.  Having the same routine and schedule everyday of your life, eating the same food everyday, no freedom to really be a child, no mom or dad to hug you, tuck you in at night, pray with and for you.  I am thankful that God has given us Kenley now we can hug her, tuck her in, feed her, pray with her and be her family. 
Tatum has been an amazing and loving little sister.  She has been so kind about sharing her things.  She considers everything she has both hers and Kenley's.  Kenley on the other hand wants to take anything that is given to her and put it all together in a drawer.  I know she has never had anything and she may be afraid that it may be taken from her.  If I only could know what she is thinking and if only she could understand how we ALL wanted her, love her and want her to have everything that is ours to be hers as well.  Soon I know she will, soon.