Great Day

Today was probably the best day we have had since we have been home.  It has been hard but as Barry said last night we knew it would be. We didn't step in to this without knowing there would be difficult days.   Most days we have had only a couple of bad hours out of the day so I won't complain.   I have tried different approaches, trying to be really expressive letting Kenley know how proud, happy, disappointed, etc. by my tone, gestures, and facials.  How frustrating she must feel to not know what anyone is saying.  The most exciting thing I found (through a mom walking this path just two weeks ahead of us) is google translate.  It is a wonderful tool.  I just type in what I'd like to say and it says it in Chinese.  Kenley listens to the computer then I repeat it in English.  Today when she was frustrated we went to the computer to talk, it was great.  If nothing else she now knows that Momma and Daddy want to understand her as much as she wants to understand us.  We were experiencing some behavior problems that were just so frustrating for me and now they seem to be gone (at least for today).  With google translate, I don't have to depend on gestures or tone that may or may not be misunderstood  I can just type.

I read a great book this weekend that a friend brought to me.  "When you were born in China" by Sara Dorow  the book is written to help children adopted from China understand a little about their life before they were adopted.  A hard thing to tell your child and I am guessing one day my daughters will want to know why.  Will they ask me?  Will they look online?  Should I tell them before they wonder?  I want them to be proud of who they are, proud of where they came from.  God gave them their beginning.  Their story is unique to them.  It is their story and I am so proud of them, in their young little six year old bodies the strength they have.
I realized as I read this book it answered a lot of questions that I am asked each day.  I recommend it to those who have adopted from China or are interested in China adoption. I'll answer a little here what I am asked, although the answers are easily found online and in a number of books on Chinese adoption. 
Years ago the government decided that there were too many people in China.  If the population continued to grow, there would be many more problems.
China was already struggling  with having enough housing for every family.  The government was concerned about jobs and providing enough food for everyone might be especially difficult.
The leaders in China made some new laws.  Which included only allowing families to have one child, or sometimes two.  They felt this would slow the population growth. Those  who broke this rule faced severe punishment.
Parents in China love their children and the families there are very close. Sons in China take care of their parents when their parents are old.  The parents usually live with their son until they die.  But if families only have a daughter their daughter will get married and leave to live with her husbands family.
Many families in China do not have the money to take care of themselves when they are old.  If a family is only allowed one child they feel they have no option if they can only have one child they need a son.
It is not that these girls are not wanted or loved.  And I think that is what many people think.  I believe it is out of a desperation that I know I have never experienced.  It is heartbrealking that a family would have to make a choice such as this.  The reality is that for a family to survive in their old age they needed  a son.  If the parents kept their daughter and gave birth to another child this would break the law and most likely they would be punished or made to pay a large sum of money, more money than they had.  Of course there could be other reasons a single mom, extreme poverrty, a child who needs medical attention that the family cannot pay for.
Families have to make what has to be a painful decision and that is to give their child up.  China does not allow families to give their children to the orphanage.  Parents have to leave their children in public places or the orphanage gate so that they will be found by the police.